well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
