dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
In America we eat man semen.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
