apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
