Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
