hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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