i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There are leaves in my underwear?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize