he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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