Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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