When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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