so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
