anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize