is your mom at the bar?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't deserve a penis
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
