Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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