Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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