Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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