I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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