video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
