i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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