The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
