the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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