It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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