Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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