Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
