haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
is it fun? or sober?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
