Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
