she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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