Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
