i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
