ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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