her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
