Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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