Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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