whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
