i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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