i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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