me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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