Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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