He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
