dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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