i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
