There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Did I show you my penis last night?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
