Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
