Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
