great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
