I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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