Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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