it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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