Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
