Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
