she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
