the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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