there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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