# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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