did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you will always have a special place in my vag
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
