you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Small penises have feelings too.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
